By Tabitha, President of Sexual Health Organization & Outreach at Rogers State University
Masturbation is normal!
Flicking your bean or jerking yourself off is often one of the first sexual encounters someone can have with themselves. Sometimes we become aware of those erogenous zones (a spot on the body that has heightened sensitivity or stimulation which may generate a sexual response) by accident, sitting on the edge of the couch and realizing it feels good when you move around, crossing your legs and building pressure against your genitals, the list goes on and on. Once we are aware of those feelings, we can begin to explore further. Using lube to make things more comfortable, maybe adding a cock sleeve to increase sensations, vibrators, dildos, whatever else you enjoy to increase your pleasure. This is all normal and healthy! It’s actually the safest sex you can ever have since there is no chance of getting pregnant or catching an STI. It can benefit your mental health and physical health too, when you orgasm your body releases endorphins which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good!
Masturbation & Pornography
Masturbation is often linked to pornography because some believe one cannot exist without the other, but this is not always true. Yes, pornography can increase the sexual experience both with yourself and with a partner (here’s your sign to watch porn with a consenting partner and turn up the heat!) and it can also introduce you to new sexual urges and desires that you didn’t know you’d be into! Pornography, especially ethical porn, is totally healthy and fun! Bellessa.co has some fire ethical porn and if you want to explore more audio porn to turn up your imagination I recommend Quinn, a great app full of spicy audio porn that is definitely going to unleash a side of you that you didn’t know you had!
Mutual Masturbation
If you enjoy masturbating by yourself you might enjoy masturbating alongside a partner. This can include partners masturbating themselves or each other. This is a great time to explore with temperature, toys, sensation, and more! Have your consenting partner grab an ice cube and hold it in their mouth while they drag the ice down your torso or legs, then switch positions and do the same thing to them. Add some body-safe wax to your online shopping cart drip some on your partner and have them do it to you. Grab your *CLEAN* sex toys and try them out on each other. Switch up positions here! Usually, when people masturbate they are laying on their back in their bed using their toys in one way, when you are with a partner let them take control and use those toys on you while you switch things up. Instead of laying on your back, lay on your stomach and then get up on your knees and arch your back. This can be even spicier if you and your partner lay on opposite ends of the bed looking at each other while you both touch yourself. This can be done in a quiet room so the intimacy and passion are heightened, the only noise you hear is the moans you both are making, or you can add some porn to the mix. Show your partner how you want them to touch you or what new positions you want to try. This can be really fun so be sure to dig deep and get out of your comfort zone!
Sharing sex toys
Sharing sex toys can be a HOT new addition to any sex party between you and your partner(s). The first part of ANY sexual encounter should be making sure that you have your partner’s consent. This includes telling them what you are going to do to them and allowing them to say no or change their mind without any coercion. A NO IS A NO AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH. Now, be sure that all toys you will be using have been washed thoroughly. If you or your partner have not been tested for any STIs lately, consider avoiding some toys and using condoms on all of the others. This can decrease the chance for the infections to spread. Cleaning toys before and after use is crucial when it comes to sharing toys! ESPECIALLY anal toys! For a penis-owning person, consider using a cock sleeve or cock ring. These two toys can increase sensitivity and heighten your orgasm! Also, try using a vibrator on their balls or the shaft of their penis. This can be a new and fun sensation that can make you feel ~extra~ good! For a vulva-owning person, it is well known that vibrators feel GREAT on vulvas! Whether they are used externally or internally, they can feel great and can feel amazing with extra skin-to-skin contact! For both penis and vulva owners, if you are using a vibrator on them, be sure to add in some handwork to make them feel extra good! Use a wand vibrator on the balls of your penis-owning partner(s) while you stroke the shaft of their cock and use a vibrating dildo inside of your vulva-owning partners’ vagina while you massage their clit to see them really go wild and add some extra heat and passion to the experience.
Masturbation is meant to be fun and exciting and explorative! Don’t be afraid to try something new with yourself or with your partner to discover new sensations and sexual feelings that you enjoy! Masturbation is normal and healthy! Happy orgasming!
Tabitha is a sexual health advocate and the President of Sexual Health Organization & Outreach on the campus of Rogers State University in Claremore, Oklahoma. She is a member of the Advocates for Youth Condom Collective and an avid supporter of Sex Ed for All! You can follow and support RSU SHOO on Instagram and Facebook by following us and sharing our mission to destigmatize sexual health everywhere! Join the discussion!