Was that what you thought it was? If you were thinking it was a clip of real people with vulvas really orgasming, you’d be absolutely correct. Take a minute to think about if it sounded how you expected it to. If it wasn’t what you expected, why do you think that is?
We think it’s because movies, TV shows, and porn do (mostly) a shit job of depicting realistic representations of vulva orgasms. Hi there, we’re the co-producers of the Sex Ed with DB Podcast, a feminist podcast bringing you all the sex ed you never got through unique and entertaining storytelling, centering the voices of LGBTQ+ folks and people of color.
We wanted to collect recordings of unique orgasms from vulva-havers because we think it’s about time we normalize the vulva orgasm. We’re done with shame and stigmatization and we’re tired of the non-male orgasm being displayed in pop culture as something it’s not. Maybe some orgasms do sound like they are depicted in mainstream media -- easy, high-pitched, breathy, overwhelming, and long-lasting. But real orgasms sound so many different ways -- low-pitched and grumbly; expressed with a ton of words or none at all; excited, moany, whispery; they can have ouuus or ahhhs or fuck yaaas or go faster or go slower -- the list goes on.
Now that you’re all hot and bothered and we have your attention, let’s talk about the orgasm gap. You’ve probably heard of the gender wage gap, but did you know that straight, cisgender women also have less orgasms than cisgender men?
As reported by O.School, for every 100 times a heterosexual couple has sex, a cisgender women will only experience an orgasm 65 times, while her cisgender male partner will experience an orgasm 95 times. That’s right, straight men are having 35 percent more orgasms than straight women! (Worth noting, the gap is not as prevalent among lesbian women: women having sex with women will experience orgasm 86 percent of the time.)
We wanted to bring these statistics to your attention because May is Masturbation Month, the perfect opportunity to take control of your sexuality and try to close your personal orgasm gap. Whether than means getting a new toy (check out some of our favorites on our partners page) or planning with your partner to increase your pleasure during sex, now is the perfect time to learn more about what turns you on.
Looking for more information about pleasure? Check out the Sex Ed with DB podcast, especially our episodes about sex toys, shops, and creators, including “Sex in the City” (featuring Dame Products’ Janet Lieberman-Lu and Please NYC’s Sid Azmi) and “No, It’s My Pleasure” (with Unbound’s Polly Rodriguez and Good Vibrations’ Andy Duran).
Written by DB of Sex Ed with DB
About the Podcast: Listen to new episodes of Sex Ed with DB every Wednesday at 9am PST/12pm EST this summer. Go to www.sexedwithdb.com to learn more about the podcast. You can listen to the podcast on the Sex Ed with DB website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow them on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.