By Lior Allay
TW: There are sensual references + some mild implied sexual references. Intended for adults ages 18+
Shame is the quickest way to die.
It makes us feel isolated and lonely, wreaking havoc on our tenderly interconnected nervous system. We thrive on connection and creative expression. Self pleasure is all of those things!
This body is a vessel of alchemical transformation. All our super powers live here but we have to get back IN to access them. The senses are our portals to in/em-bodied presence.
Nature is supremely resilient. Ecosexuality brings our attention to the fractal mirror of reality, how everything that exists in the macro exists in the micro - the body is a whole universe of universes all the way down. That means all those elegantly designed feedback loops, the regenerative cycles, the beautiful rhythm of growth and healing - all exists within us too.
When we show up and step into somatic practices we are tapping into the magical symbiotic systems of life. This is kundalini activation, inner light - all the words we use to describe personal power.
Everything becomes possible when we trust and let go, allowing ourselves to fall in love with the spell of the sensuous world.
Self pleasure is a loving, nourishing practice for body and soul precisely because it returns us to ourselves.
At the end you’ll find a guided sensual exploration of the body through meditation and breath. In this practice we will let go and connect with the primal aspect of our erotic nature.
As we make love to the body and express our sensorial delight we will:
be without judgment or expectation
be present, commit to the process, there’s no goal to seek
let senses guide (rather than the mind)
abandon performance, allow expression to authenticity unfold
opening to possibility, connection, and Love
release and allow the body to do what it does
experience cosmic connection to source/spirit
slow down, let hands linger, enhance longing
This isn’t just getting off or relaxing. The act of slowing down + receiving is a radical declaration of liberation for someone living in a capitalist death culture. Everything in society is shaped to position us against the body.
You’re brave to be here.
Shoved into artificial cycles and environments, coping just to survive, our bodies accumulate dis-ease. We are malnourished in so many ways. In the practice of pleasure we release these toxic programs. We reclaim our erotic innocence, our creative power, and our cosmic birthright when we…
Surrender to the senses!
As you trust and let go of expectations you will discover the natural healing rhythms of the body. In movement meditation we receive the primal healing medicine of nature. It moves energy through us and to us.
In this practice I will gently guide you to…
embody the generous, devotional lover of your dreams.
We’ll practice receiving playful aliveness, intense enjoyment, exquisite sensation, and powerful stillness. The ecstasy of love is the essence of divinity, it is always abundant and within us, we just have to know how to tap in.
Feeling fully alive and safe in your own body is foundational to satisfying intimacy.
When we move from a place of generous desire (“I want you”) rather than desperation (“I need you”) we can be flexible + playful with our choices to co-create a connected experience.
To love in this revolutionary, tender way is to express deep affection, care, + devotion. This can feel extremely vulnerable at first. In self pleasure we affirm our worthiness. Allow the emotions to rinse through you. There is space for grief and sorrow in the process of erotic awakening.
As we expand our capacity for pleasure and detailed sensation we’ll access more satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences. Sexuality then shifts from a transactional goal-orientated habit to a creative expression of divine love through pleasure.
There are innumerable mental and physical health benefits to these pleasure practices, (if you need more motivation than collective liberation and healing.)
The medicine of breath is psychedelic, transcendent, healing.
Breathwork is a powerful active meditation tool. It's so helpful for rewinding: a process of connecting to the body, moving stuck energy, opening the heart, accessing primal intuition, embodied wisdom and cellular memory.
It is an incredible tool for moving through post traumatic growth, anxiety, depression, blocks and more. It's for you* even if you have anxiety, panic attacks, asthma - even if you experience chronic pain or are disabled (and maybe most especially.) There’s a good chance you'll feel a sense of quiet calm, clarity, creativity, focus, epiphany, connection, relaxation, and more.
We’ll start with a small shift in the way we touch the body…
Compulsive to Conscious:
Sink deeply into the present moment. Choose a private, quiet space where you won’t be bothered (turn phone on airplane + lock the door).
Design your surroundings so that you feel grounded, relaxed, + safe. Bring in intentional comfort cues. That could look like tidying your space, gathering soft pillows or blankets, dimming the lights, sensory deprivation with earplugs or a blindfold, lighting a candle, or putting on soft music.
Create a ritual by making this a simple, repeatable pattern. This prepares the body for the experience, building anticipation + receptivity. Curating time of day, place, or aspects of ambiance are easy ways to signal to the body that we’re transitioning into pleasure.
Step into curiosity: no goals, no judgements, no rush. Go until you’ve had enough. Remove the goal and requirement of orgasm. Make it play.
Begin seated or lying down. Free the belly of any waistbands or belts. Let the eyes close or soften the gaze.
Name your intention for the practice. One or two words to describe what you want to receive, let go of, or experience. Ex: play, ease, love, worthiness, acceptance, forgiveness
Drop In:
Become aware of the breath in the body.
Follow it in and out through the nose.
Trace its outline. Feel the shape of the air inside you.
5 breaths to calibrate, inviting them deeper and deeper into the belly.
What is alive inside you right now?
Welcome all thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories. Notice without judgment.
Release resistance. Allow emotions to express organically throughout this practice.
Let the lips relax, teeth slightly open.
Check in with the pelvic floor. It’s safe to release and soften.
Begin to sigh or release sound on each exhale, jaw loose, mouth open.
10 breaths. Surrender to the sound.
How does it feel when the vibrations of your voice move through you?
Let the jaw be soft, slightly open behind the lips. Imagine yawning the anus.
5 big breaths. Deep into the belly, filling the hips.
Exhaling, empty the lungs completely and hold for 30 seconds.
Sink into stillness. Relax the body.
From the tip of the nose to the tip of the toes.
Inhaling fully, belly + chest, hold at the top for 10 seconds.
Release. Let the exhale wash over the body.
Notice what is alive inside.
Sensations, thoughts, feelings, memories.
Describe in detail what’s coming up for you either aloud or in your mind’s eye.
Prepare for a set of 15 breaths.
Let them be deep and complete.
Follow the natural rhythm.
Let the body do what the body does without rushing.
On your 15th breath exhale, emptying the lungs and hold for 30 seconds.
Sink into stillness. Relax the body completely.
Inhaling fully, belly and chest, hold at the top for 10 seconds.
Release. Let the exhale rinse any remaining tension out of you.
Notice the pulsations of blood traveling through your body.
Notice it at the perineum, finger tips, toes, and behind the eyes.
Apply some light massage oil or lotion to the hands.
Rub it between the palms fast until warm.
Bring both hands to the belly.
Feel the temperature of your skin.
Begin to apply some pressure, allowing the hands to sink in.
Breathe into that resistance.
Begin to slowly circle the hands into the curve of the left hip.
Feel the texture of the organs underneath the skin.
Find the edge then drag the hands up to fill the rib cage.
Slide across along the diaphragm, under the sternum, over the stomach and liver.
Pausing for an extra breath anywhere that feels sore or sensitive.
Moving with tender awareness, mapping the inner world.
Continue down into the right hip, pressing through the crescent of bone.
Feel what you can feel. Let everything soften.
Slowly drag right to left, completing the circle.
Take it to the edge of the mons. If you happen to have a womb you may feel some deep tenderness and prickling pleasure here. Sink into that.
Continue this circling, making each pass slightly smaller than the last, working your way in toward the belly button.
Noticing what you can notice.
Letting the breath carry us through.
Checking in with the perineum. Allowing the root to soften and open.
When you make it to the center, allow the fingertips to sink into the umbilical.
Let the breath in the belly pillow the flesh up around your hands, sinking you even deeper.
Slowly peel the fingers apart, opening up from the core of the body.
Feel the porousness. Feel the breath pouring in and out of your body without effort.
Take as much time as you need.
When you’ve had enough, reduce the intensity of your touch.
Allow soft, tracing fingers to move over the body.
Settle into a restorative pose for savasana to soak in the benefits of this practice.
You can lie on your back or find child’s pose.
Send gratitude and love to the body.
Journal to record the sensations, memories, and emotions that came up for you.
For truly transformational results I recommend experimenting with pleasure meditation and breath work at least 2 or 3x per week while incorporating some sensual savoring daily, just bringing that tender, curious attention to the body - even if that’s only before bed or while you’re in the shower.
Experiencing this work as a group in live events is another powerful way to help use community accountability to push through difficult challenges + build our pleasure routines.
Let’s work together
If this has stirred something up in you and you want to dive in deeper, I got your back.
Let me put my expertise in somatic arts, yoga, meditation, trauma healing, reiki energy work, tantra, + authentic relating to work for you.
If you want to:
Release shame, blame, + guilt
Heal perfectionism + embrace authenticity
Reclaim erotic innocence
Confidently celebrate your unique body
Become somatically sovereign + turn on intuition
Bio-Hack your body for Post Traumatic Growth
Shift from scarcity + contraction to trust, abundance, + expansion
Activate your multi-orgasmic potential
Give + receive more pleasure, bliss, + presence in your life
Remove creative blockages + find your natural rhythm
Heal unhelpful mental looping, worry, depression or anxiety
Find ease, vibrance, connection + confidence in relationships + intimacy (+ stop settling for less than you deserve)
There are two ways to work with me online + in person: on zoom 1:1 sessions and events. (Link to event page)
Any Qs, get in touch.
I look forward to supporting you on your unique journey to erotic liberation + wholehearted living!
All the Affirmation Artwork on this page is available as a limited run of 3x4 full color vinyl stickers!
** Breathwork practice contraindications
A home breathwork practice is not currently recommended for: people in pregnancy (unless you have discussed it with a medical doctor or already have a regular practice), epilepsy, retinal detachment, glaucoma, high blood pressure not controlled by medication, cardiovascular disease, family history of aneurysm, strokes and neurological conditions, and severe osteoporosis.
** Breathwork practice potential side effects
A breathwork practice can cause strong physical sensations and/or emotional releases. In very rare cases, strong emotional releases have been known to cause amnesia. If having additional support after a group feels important, having a therapist, trusted friend or personal integration practices in place could be helpful. Sliding scale 1:1 sessions are also a chance for more personalized support so please do feel free to email me after or book a session as needed.
