Masturbation Month is all about breaking down the stigma around self-pleasure and normalizing what is a common and healthy sexual practice. But even those who are masturbation positive might think that it is an unnecessary activity to partake in when in a sexual relationship with someone else. However, the truth is that masturbating while in a relationship can benefit both your health and your satisfaction in the relationship overall! It’s also incredibly common, with 81 percent of people in the U.S. reporting that they have masturbated while in a relationship. Let’s get into why masturbating while in a relationship should be the norm.
Masturbation has health benefits. Many studies have concluded that masturbation comes with several health benefits; it has been shown to improve quality of sleep, decrease overall stress, relieve period cramps, and increase self-esteem. While partnered sex can also have health benefits, researchers have found that masturbation can be more relaxing because there is less pressure to perform for a partner(s). Notably, contrary to what shame-based myths about masturbation would have you believe, self-pleasure does not cause blindness, impotence, infertility or low sperm count, mental illness, or other negative health effects.
Masturbation improves sexual functioning and increases overall pleasure. Self-pleasure provides the opportunity for individuals to explore their own bodies and learn what turns them on and makes them feel good. As a result, people who masturbate are better prepared to teach their sexual partners what they like. In general, people with vulvas are less likely to experience an orgasm during heterosexual partnered sex than their penis-having partners. Only 65 percent of heterosexual ciswomen usually experience orgasm during sex compared with 95 percent of their heterosexual cismale partners — this is known as the “orgasm gap.” Masturbation can help close this gap by allowing people with vulvas to learn and express to their partners what brings them pleasure.
And the research bears that out: studies have found that women who masturbate are more likely to orgasm during sex! Plus, research has shown that enhanced stimulation, such as using a vibrator, increases sexual functioning for both men and women. For people with penises, this included improvements in erectile function and orgasm, while people with vulvas reported better lubrication and less pain.
Masturbation can improve your relationship. In addition to the positive effects of increased self-esteem and decreased stress, masturbation itself is linked with higher sexual desire and arousal. People who masturbate are more likely to orgasm during partnered sex, and masturbating while in a relationship has been shown to promote higher levels of sexual satisfaction overall, especially for people with vulvas. But the benefits of masturbation to a relationship aren’t only sexual; women who masturbate also have been found to be happier in their marriages compared with women who do not.
So this Masturbation Month, don’t let being in a relationship keep you from taking time for yourself and your own pleasure. Your health, sex life, and relationship will thank you.
By The Sex Ed with DB Podcast Team