May is International Masturbation Month
Good Vibrations welcomes a significant milestone in the history of National Masturbation Month—the 25th anniversary of what we now know and love as Masturbation May! We created this new holiday a quarter of a century ago in 1995 when then-Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders had recently been fired for acknowledging that sex education ought to include a discussion of masturbation. I was at the table where National Masturbation Month was brainstormed, and we did it to call attention to President Bill Clinton’s termination of Elders. We were astounded. That was the most sensible thing we'd ever heard a government official say -- and it cost Elders her job! We had to do something to highlight the hypocrisy and shame surrounding this most natural of acts.
Twenty-five years later, Masturbation May has gone global, with people celebrating all over the world, raising awareness and to highlighting the importance of masturbation for everyone who engages in it: it's safe, it's healthy, it's free, it's pleasurable, it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses. Of all the kinds of sex people can have, masturbation is the most universal and important, yet few people talk about it freely -- worse, many people still feel it is "second best" or problematic in some way. Masturbation May lets us emphasize how great it is: it's natural, common, and fun!
Masturbation May in the Time of COVID-19
If there was ever a sexual activity ideal for social distancing and #QuarantineLife, masturbation is it. You can do it alone, with a partner, over video chat, with or without toys... it's endlessly variable, pleasurable, soothing, and under your control. It may be an unsung coping strategy, but masturbation is going to help us get through this difficult and unprecedented time.
Still Needed After 25 Years: #MAYsturbation
While giving yourself pleasure may seem as natural as taking a breath, masturbation is still by no means a widely accepted form of sexual activity. In many parts of the world (including the U.S.) children are punished if they are caught masturbating, which can affect their sexuality for the rest of their lives. Adults in cultures across the globe are presented with heterosexual marriage as the only acceptable form of sexual expression. Masturbation is not honored in many quarters as an important form of safer sex, much less as a way a person can love herself, learn about himself, explore their body, or exercise -- as one wonderful translation terms it -- "self-comfort."
Masturbation can be a radical act, and the culture that suppresses masturbation may suppress many other personal freedoms as well. While celebrating Masturbation May and doing your part to bring self-love out of the closet, keep in mind that sexual and reproductive freedom is essential to true well-being, everywhere.
Why talk about masturbation?
Almost everyone masturbates, but all too few of us are willing to admit to enjoying this simple pleasure -- mostly because of the taboo against masturbation in our society, which has its roots in historical misconceptions that have survived to the present day. Most people don’t think it will make them go blind. But we do live in a society in which sexual expression has always been legislated and restricted, and the pursuit of pure pleasure is frequently condemned as selfish and childish. A lot of people who consider themselves free of sexual hang-ups have simply rewritten the equation "sex is only good if it involves procreation" to "sex is only good if it involves two loving people." The fact that masturbation is a pleasurable end in itself gets short shrift in mainstream sex manuals, which focus on masturbation as a useful tool in the building of a better sex life with one's partner. While it's certainly true that masturbation provides valuable information about your own and your partners' sexual responses, masturbation is much more than a means to the exalted end of better partner sex.
Because many people still feel guilty about it, or feel they do it too much or feel it's a second-best substitute for "real" sex, we think it's important to bring it out into the open and let people feel better about what they're doing -- and, for those who may not be doing it, we want to encourage it! Masturbation is, for many, the cornerstone to a healthy and good sex life. It isn't second-best -- it can give you the information and awareness you need to enjoy the rest of your sex life. Self-love rules!
Why Masturbate?
Because masturbation is immensely pleasurable, invigorating, rejuvenating and fun.
Because sexual pleasure is each person's birthright.
Because masturbation is the ultimate safe sex.
Because masturbation is a joyous expression of self-love.
Because masturbation offers numerous health benefits including menstrual cramp relief, stress reduction, endorphin release, stronger pelvic muscles, reduction of prostate gland infection for men, and resistance to yeast infections for women.
Because masturbation is an excellent cardiovascular workout.
Because each person is their own best lover.
Because masturbation with a partner can be educational and hot.
Because masturbation increases sexual awareness.
For these and many other reasons we celebrate Masturbation May and affirm the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness and sexual pleasure!
Masturbation is our first sexual activity, a natural source of pleasure that's available to us throughout our lives, and a unique form of creative self-expression. Each time you masturbate, you're celebrating your sexuality and your innate capacity for pleasure, so give yourself a hand (wink wink)!
By Carol Queen PhD, Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist