Mutual masturbation in a polyamorous relationship can be visually exciting for the receiver as well as the rest of your partners. It’s a great way to indulge each other and can lead to mind-bending orgasms. As more and more couples try getting off together, we asked Tiana GlittersaurusRex, Polyamorous Educator & Activist to provide her insight on the topic.
What are some misconceptions about masturbation in polyamorous relationships?
TG: Some misconceptions about masturbating in polyamous relationships are it will impact the intimacy you have with partner(s) or you’re an insatiable “sex monster.” Everyone has different amount of times they need to masturbate regardless of how much sex or partnered orgasms they have.
What are the benefits of making room for masturbation in your relationship?
TG: Masturbation is a form of self-care, which is a huge benefit to any relationship, but especially in polyamourous ones. When you know how to pleasure yourself you can help teach others how to better please you. You can more directly and gently educate your lover(s) by asking for what you want. In turn, it empowers them to do the same!
What are some ways to introduce and incorporate mutual masturbation in your polyamorous relationship?
TG: I love watching porn together then enjoying mutual masturbation next to each other. You can see how each other likes to be touched while being stimulated by each other’s porn fantasies. Attending virtual or COVID compliant play parties together is another way to “play” together and enjoy the company of other people in the community.
Is there any masturbation etiquette for polyamorous relationship networks?
TG: The etiquette for any relationship around masturbating should be shame-free and allow space for self-pleasure. Ask to watch and/or join, but don’t feel self conscious about failing to be a satisfactory lover or assume they want more sex.
What are a few mutual masturbation tips for polyamorous partners?
TG: Some helpful tips for polyamous partners are: communicate throughout the process while eye-gazing, taking deep breaths, petting or teasing each other. Set the mood with lighting, soft sexy music and make sure everyone is comfortable. I love lighting incense or candles for aromatherapy and energetic grounding. Have fun and don’t take it too seriously; it’s ok to laugh, be playfully silly or shy in the beginning.
Anything else you’d like to add to this topic?
TG: For those feeling more adventurous, film yourselves mutually masturbating! Enjoy the process of “being watched” then the pleasure of watching it all back during aftercare. Spice it up with masks to add a bit of roll play as well as conceal identities for anyone concerned.
Tiana GlittersaurusRex, [She/Her], Polyamorous Educator & Activist, Co-Founder of The Sex Work Survival Guide, a non-profit organization advocating for the rights and safety of sex workers, Cannabis & Sex-Positive Educational Content & Event Producer, Founder of the GlittersaurusRex Production Brand