Many vulva-owners find it challenging to seek out sexual satisfaction, I don’t blame them, sexual satisfaction in anyone other than straight men has been overlooked, shamed and made to be this impossible mission that none one can figure out. Let’s dive into these challenges and look at the root of this problem.
The patriarchy, the cause of many social issues, limiting vulva-owners to not only feel like sexual vesicles, but normalizing consumer products to make anyone with a vulva feel dirty about natural and “normal” bodily functions. Over time vulva-owners have been slut-shamed as the promiscuous trope in television, not provided with pleasure-focused education growing up and been politically policed for centuries about their autonomy over their body. This was done intentionally, for the individuals thriving within the patriarchy to continue to thrive, and to uphold their “norms” and “values” that consistently marginalize anyone and everyone that isn’t a sit-white-man (Note: patriarchy hurts men too).
With this understanding how can vulva-owners unlearn these systematic norms and “ideals” in order to begin to adopt and reclaim their sexual pleasure? I think the first place to begin is recognizing all these barriers that inhibit individuals from prioritizing their pleasure, and moving forward with grace. In doing this you have space to learn and grow with yourself, while also being kind to yourself, because none of it was your fault. However, sometimes these social trauma’s (especially depending on where your grew up) are more challenging to unlearn, therefore seeking out professional help is also a great method in providing you with tools to support your journey in focusing on your sexual health. If therapy is a huge leap for you, I encourage folks to follow sex-positive creators, and read as many books as possible. The more information you can gather about yourself, your history and discomforts the easier it will be to gather the correct educational tools to support the movement towards prioritizing your pleasure!
To learn more about how Sex and Self is working hard to make folks Sexcessful, you can learn more about our fundraiser at www.sexandself.com/events for more details.
By Felicia Gisondi, Founder of Sex and Self