By Shani Hart
Choking the chicken. Rubbing one out. Spanking the monkey. Visiting the bat cave (which is my personal favorite). Whatever you call it- Guess what? It’s your month!
If you’re someone that has their ear to these sexuality streets you already know that the whole month of May is dedicated to masturbation! If you didn’t know…you’re welcome!
But the thing is, everyone’s not “good” at masturbating. Fix your face, let me explain. I used to be un-good at masturbation. I wasn’t receiving the pleasure that I knew was possible. While masturbating I was thinking about my grocery list, how I was going to clap back to a snarky comment someone left on my IG, or some other random tidbit that occupied my mind at that moment. I wasn't focused on the pleasure. I wasn’t connected to my body. I was too in my head.
And the pandemic made it even worse, giving me more things to think about.
If this sounds like you, keep reading.
The Number One thing that helped me masturbate more intentionally was Mindfulness. When I first heard of mindfulness I thought, this is just some other WooWoo thing the woowoowers are trying to have catch on! It’s not like that. You don’t need to burn incense, cleanse your chakras, or meditate. I don’t do any of those things, I just practice focusing. Mindfulness is the act of focusing on the task at hand. In this instance we’re talking about masturbation, but I really didn’t get the full effect until I also started practicing it outside of the bedroom and setting up certain mindful practices.
Here are some mindfulness practices in and out of the bedroom you can start doing today. Start off by picking just one and move on from there. We don’t want you overthinking mindfulness!!
During Masturbation:
Concentrate on your breathing. How does the air feel going inside of your body? Pay attention to the body parts that rise and fall with each breath.
Tap into your sense of touch. This is usually the sense that we use the most during masturbation. What part of your body responds to what touch?
Actually concentrate on the feelings of pleasure. We can spend a lot of brain power focused on the orgasm which is really counter productive. Our bodies need to take over and be in a relaxed state to get to orgasm.
In Your Everyday Life:
While eating instead of zoning out or watching TV, take time to focus on the food. What are the different textures, flavors, temperatures of the food? For me, it actually makes everything taste that much better!
Brushing your teeth only takes two minutes but when have you paid attention to what you are really doing in your mouth. Brush each tooth and see how each tooth feels when it’s brushed. Feel how fresh your mouth feels after.
If you’re like me and take walks often while listening to music and zoning out you could miss a lot. Pay attention to how your feet feel when they hit the pavement. What are all of the smells going on? How do your muscles feel while walking?
Now, even for me, sometimes mindfulness is still a whole mission that I struggle with during masturbation. What has helped me is the addition of CBD. It’s actually the reason I founded my sensual CBD company, The Noir Leaf. I’ve always had a high level of anxiety that impacted different parts of my life, including my sex life. All CBD products are legal in most states, so it’s a great accessible natural approach to calmness. Unlike its cannabis cousin, THC, it won’t get you high but is a great addition to your mindfulness practices. Without getting sciency, CBD helps relax your mind, increase focus and alleviate anxiety by naturally working with different parts of your body to invoke calmness. There are different CBD products to choose from and each has a different amount of time that you’ll need to pre-game before your self-pleasure session.
The fastest method of consumption would be smoking. When you inhale, the CBD is taken in through your lungs and absorbed into your bloodstream. Within minutes you could feel the wooosah. Find pre-rolls and flower here. My favorite is the Carnal, which has the addition of erotic herbs. Owwww!
CBD oil taken sublingually (under the tongue) is the next fastest method of consumption. You should take this at least 20 minutes beforehand.
Eating an edible CBD product is going to take the longest. It has to be metabolized through your digestive system which could take at least 45 minutes before you feel the effects. Find all of my gummy varieties Here.
Relax and don’t judge yourself. Add some CBD to your sensual routines. Don’t be intimidated by mindfulness, and remember to start off with one practice so you don’t overwhelm yourself!
If you have any more questions about CBD and mindfulness I have more great information on my website and follow me on IG @sexstuffwithshani.