By Ryn Pfeuffer | Visit on Twitter and Instagram
Getting off is one of the great pleasures of life. Mutual masturbation, also known as partnered masturbation, is an oft-underrated sex act that can be extremely hot (and educational). There are few things hotter than watching a partner experience sexual pleasure, whether in person or over a phone or video call.
For safer sex goes, mutual masturbation is a gold-star winner
No form of sexual contact is entirely without risk of STI transmission. And sex doesn’t have to require penetration to feel good. Besides, penetrative sex isn’t always an option, especially in the cases of vulvodynia or dyspareunia. The great thing about mutual masturbation is that no genital-on-genital contact is necessary, thus significantly reducing your risk of STIs and pregnancy. That said, if fluids are exchanged from one person’s hand to their partner’s genitals, there is some risk of getting an STI – but only for the receiver.
Learn what your partner likes
You masturbate. Your partner masturbates. You both know what you like from your solo seshes. From pace and pressure to intensity of touch, mutual masturbation – especially if you’re a visual learner – can help show your partner what turns you on.
Increase communication with your partner
From discussing boundaries to consent, communication is essential in any healthy relationship. It may be awkward to bring up the topic of mutual masturbation (we get it). Plan a sex date and come with a sexual wish list. Whether you want to introduce sex toys, dirty talk, or your most taboo fantasy to the bedroom, mutual masturbation can be a useful tool to discuss and actualize such desires with a partner.
Mutual masturbation is a healthy habit
Mutual masturbation offers many health benefits, including lower stress, better sleep, and clear skin.
There are so many kinds of mutual masturbation techniques and positions you can try on for size – whether you sit side by side on a sofa, take turns watching each other, or are separated by thousands of miles and connected via a screen. Also, if you don't enjoy masturbation, that's perfectly OK too. However, when it comes to sex, you should never do anything you don't want to do.
For mutual masturbation, these five sex positions can’t be beaten.
Ride a Straddle-Style Sex Machine
If you want a no-fail mechanical assist, the Motorbunny is my ride-or-die go-to. It’s akin to riding a mechanical bull, except with a thrusting phallus and no risk of being bucked. From the penetrative vantage point of this sex toy, I can play with my clit while maintaining eye contact with a partner who’s touching themselves. If you’re feeling more interactive, have your partner sit on the corner of a bed and position the sex machine in front of them for a hand job or oral sex fun.
Side-by-Side
This is a super-easy (and satisfying!) position for mutual stimulation. This scenario works well for both penis- and vulva-havers. I like to lie down on one side of the bed while my partner stands alongside, facing the bed with legs slightly spread. My partner can use their hands or toys to pleasure me from this position while I use my hands and mouth on them. It may take some finagling to find the best angle for body parts to connect. Still, it's definitely doable with some patience and practice.
Rub and Ride
For multitasking masturbation, have the penis-having partner lie down on their back. The vulva-owner straddles them just below their penis and moves their hand up and down the shaft while positioning their thumb on their clit. Add a dab of lube to make things run even more smoothly.
Head-to-Foot
It may seem a little odd at first to lie side-by-side, head-to-foot on your backs. But if you scooch so that each of you can easily reach the other's genitals by reaching up between their legs, this can be a very comfortable position (not to mention a great perspective of your partner's party spot). If your hand and forearm get tired after stroking or finger-banging for a while (*raises hand*), this position allows proper arm support to go the duration.
Lazy Sex
This is a tried-and-true position for when you're feeling lazy AF. Lie next to your partner, then scissor your legs sideways so your genitals graze each other's (but no penetration occurs). I like to feel my partner's penis or vulva at the entrance of my vagina while I rub my clit to orgasm. Penis-in-vagina sex is possible from this passive position but by no means necessary to bring pleasure.