An incredibly safe sexual practice that provides a ton of opportunity for pleasure and exploration. It’s hot, convenient, and the ultimate bonding exercise for you and your partner(s).
What’s virtual mutual masturbation anyways?
From sexting, to sending sexy snaps, to kinky video calls, tech has helped bridge the sexual connection gap when we’re far apart providing exciting new ways for us to enjoy mutual masturbation. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, dating, or simply wanting to boost up your sex life, then virtual mutual masturbation is the way to do it.
Virtual mutual masturbation is brilliant. You masturbate, your partner(s) masturbate, all via video chat. It’s fun, intimate, and educational, allowing you to tap into your inner voyeuristic and exhibitionist sides. Your partner(s) get to see you in all your glory, witness exactly what it is that you like, what works for you, and vice versa.
So, how do I initiate it?
Like all new sexual experiences, you have to talk about them before trying something new. When approaching this subject, first ask your partner(s) what they think about virtual sex and mutual masturbation in general. Really get to know what their thoughts are first. It could be as simple as saying something like:
“I heard about virtual mutual masturbation and I’m curious - do you want to give it a go?”
“I love it when we touch ourselves at the same time, how do you feel about it?”
“I want to show you how I touch myself, do you want to watch?”
Build anticipation by sexting throughout the day or scheduling a sexy video date. If you’re in a long-distance relationship or simply easing back into dating, you can initiate virtual mutual masturbation by expressing to your partner(s);
“Tonight, I would love for us to explore…”
“I really miss physical touch and lately, I have fantasized about us…”
Regardless of your situation, you could just say something sweet and sexy to your partner(s). Make an invitation and make it playful.
Have a conversation by saying
“It’d be really cool to have a virtual mutual masturbation date.”
“I’d love to watch you self-pleasure and have you show me what turns you on.”
Being able to initiate this conversation is so important because it tests your sexual communication. Be sure to get consent from each other, communicate your boundaries, and discuss expectations — just as you would (or should!) with sex in real life. Talk about the types of sexual activities you’re okay with, which ones you might be open to exploring, and the ones you want to avoid. If you have any fears or anything you’re worried about, now is the time to discuss them. Then make sure you’re on the same page. Keep these conversations ongoing, as your preferences may change. This could include how much of your body you’re interested in showing, what is exciting about virtual sex for you, what activities you’re into, and if it’s okay to take screenshots or record. Establishing eager consent is a part of all sex, whether virtual or in-person.
Set the scene
Once everyone’s in the mood, you need to set the scene. Now, this can mean dimming the lights, lighting some scented candles, or playing some sensual music. Be sure to luxuriate in your session in a comfortable and indulgent setting and get rid of any clutter beforehand.
Setting the scene can also mean painting a sensual picture with your partner(s). Are you in a kinky dungeon with tons of toys and props? Are you lying on the white sandy beaches in the Bahamas? Are you a character in one of your favorite eroticas? Being in your own private virtual world, you can really use your imagination and let your fantasies run wild. Virtual mutual masturbation can be a great opportunity to dabble into some frisky role-playing. Take the time to think of any fantasies or sexy ideas you’ve wanted to explore and express them with your partner(s). Then rub, play, and position the camera as you please.
How to improve your sessions
The point of virtual mutual masturbation is to explore and pleasure your bodies and the goal doesn’t have to be to orgasm. Just to fully allow yourself to be seen by your partner(s), honoring them and how beautiful, amazing, and powerful they look in those states of arousal, is satisfying.
While video chatting, give each other eye contact to get in the zone together. Focus on each other’s breathing, get in the same mood, and be in the present moment.
Describe to your partner(s) how you would be touching them. Is it rough, soft, slow? Talk about how aroused you are and how good you want them to feel. To spice things up, you could also watch ethical porn or listen to erotica together.
If you are going to use toys - I highly suggest for male-bodied individuals to use clear sleeves to make sure you don’t block the view. Also, app-controlled toys let you have sex remotely, making a solo night so much more interactive and provide a great way to get each other off no matter how far you are apart, be it a matter of miles, or entire continents. These toys are perfect for use during virtual sex and are great for creating a feeling of being closer to your partner(s) and giving them some first-hand education on your preferred masturbation techniques and routines.
What you get out of it
There are so many sexy reasons why you should experiment with virtual mutual masturbation. Pleasure is a huge benefit. The fact that you can share those intimate moments with someone else in a virtual space, who might be far apart from you, reveals so much about yourself. You show them the movements you like, the actual spots you like being touched, for how long, what type of pressure, and the products/toys you like to use. So if you know of anything that perhaps your partner(s) are not doing - this is the time to show them.
It’s the best pleasure education you’ll receive
Letting your partner(s) watch and listen to you pleasure yourself is a great learning and educational experience. These erotic virtual sessions can reignite your sex life, deepen your connections, introduce new forms of sexual pleasures and kinks, and promote overall sexual satisfaction. So indulging in virtual mutual masturbation, now and way beyond the pandemic, might be the key to world happiness ;)
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Article written by Vanessa, founder of @pleasureexploration + marketing and business development coordinator at emojibator