We live in a world that slaps the terms “self-love” and “self-care” on every possible product- as if it's the new “gluten-free”. This craze makes care into an obligation. This can be beneficial but doesn't address an issue we experience - how can you truly experience pleasure if you feel like you don't deserve it? This is something we go through as black women and wanted to focus on during our event “Your Mess Is Your Best”. This event is about accepting what you may consider being flawed head on so that you can give yourself pleasure- something that is a step beyond self-care.
As black women, you're constantly working to support the people around you. Despite being the most marginalized group, we are the group that protects all other groups. With this albatross on our shoulders, it can be difficult to feel like we truly deserve pleasure. We're trained to believe that we should always be doing something, if not the guilt follows. We say FUCK THAT, so we've listed our favorite ways that we unapologetically give ourselves pleasure.
A list of ways we unapologetically pleasure ourselves:
Masturbation- duh, any and every time of day
Staying in bed longer than I need to
Ice Cream, particularly made by Weckerly's
Smoking a lot of weed
Making travel a priority
Leaving work even just 5 minutes early
Did we say masturbation already?
Taking a long drive that often ends at Krispy Kreme
Mid-day naps
We hope that you can take these examples and pleasure yourself because trust us, you deserve it!
About The Hoe And The Hopeless: Kia and Debora are two black women who live in Philadelphia. On their comedic podcast “The Hoe and The Hopeless” they speak about dating in the city, past sexual experiences, mental/sexual health, and whatever they feel like that day. You can listen to The H&H on SoundCloud, Spotify, iTunes Podcast, and Stitcher and find them on Instagram.