Porn. We treat it as a dark, dirty secret, but the truth is that many, many people watch it. In fact, about 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites. Whether you’re getting busy by yourself or with a partner(s), watching porn can help get you in the mood. Maybe you’re down for porn but you don’t ~love~ seeing categories like “Gangbang” or “Cumshot,” or seeing titles like “VIRGIN TEEN SLUTS,” or maybe you don’t vibe with the mainstream fetishization of people of color or fat bodies.
Truth be told, we’re not here to yuck anyone’s yum. But, we did want to recognize that some people enjoy watching porn and want to be a little more critical about the porn they consume. As long as you’re watching videos in which all the parties involved are consenting to what’s going on, the porn you’re watching is okay. But, if you want to mindfully consume porn and find videos that match your values, it is important to ask: is the porn you’re watching ethical?
There are a number of factors to consider when considering whether porn is “ethical,” including whether the stars are being paid fairly and whether there are depictions of consent. Ethicalporn.com describes it as “adult content that is consensual and transparent, is created in an environment that emphasizes safety and respect, and does not contribute to wider social inequalities via troublesome post-production marketing.” When we talk about ethical or alternative porn, we’re looking for videos that don't fetishize, that are more inclusive, diverse, and feature all different kinds of bodies.
If that sounds like the kind of porn you’re looking for, here are 3 alternative porn sites we recommend you check out:
Crashpad Series has been described as the “entryway to ethical feminist porn.” Crashpad honestly depicts female and queer sexuality and features real-life couples, including lesbians, trans and nonbinary folks, fat people, people of color, older people, and people with disabilities. Also, their performers all choose what they want to do on screen, so their porn often depicts safer sex, check-ins and communications, and aftercare. You can check out Crashpad Series on their website.
Make Love Not Porn is Founder Cindy Gallop’s answer to a generation of men who grew up learning how to have (bad) sex from porn (as she said on the Sex Ed with DB podcast during Season 2, check out her interview here!). Instead of the unrealistic depictions of sex people are getting from mainstream porn, Make Love Not Porn features “MakeLoveNotPornstars,” who are just regular, normal people recording their lovemaking and creating videos of what real-life sex looks like. The platform’s slogan is “Pro-Sex, Pro-Porn, Pro-Knowing the Difference.” As we have written in the past, these realistic images are incredibly important in a society that both allows for easy access to porn and doesn’t have frank conversations with young people about sex. Check out MakeLoveNotPorn on their website.
Dipsea is a female-founded platform bringing you short and sexy audio stories designed to get you in the mood. Their stories are feminist (featuring empowered people, communication, and realistic depictions of pleasure), relatable, and available for people of all interests (they have straight and queer stories, a range of diverse themes, and don’t only focus on “traditionally attractive” bodies). You can catch Dipsea on their website or download their app from the Apple or Google store.
So whether you’re upping your game for May’s #MasturbationMonth or simply need a new way to fill your sexual needs during quarantine, we recommend you check out these three alternative sources for porn as you start your journey to consuming ethical porn!
About the Podcast: Listen to new episodes of Sex Ed with DB every Wednesday at 9 am PST/12 pm EST this summer. Go to www.sexedwithdb.com to learn more about the podcast. You can listen to the podcast on the Sex Ed with DB website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow them on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.